Mistakes Commonly Made when you’re Trying to Build Rapports
September 18, 2009
Building the correct rapport with your subject is very important in your work as a hypnotist. You can improve all your skills easily in time but you need to know and avoid the most common mistakes in creating a rapport. This is because the ability of creating rapports with your subjects is crucial in your practice and there are many common mistakes made.
One of the first is trying to be too nice. There is no doubt that you should be nice to your subject but there is a fine line between nice and too nice and you must not cross it.
Besides that, communication is extremely important. Full disclosure is what makes the therapy successful. The subject must feel comfortable to share ideas and thoughts even if they are unpleasant. Not being able to establish a full communication can damage the rapport.
So be nice but not on the expense of having full communication. Say whatever it needs to be said and break down the barrier that is there. There are many people who waste time and effort being too polite and forget to be themselves. People who are trying to be too nice are picked up by the people around them and an invisible wall gets raised between them. Then they end up just casual acquaintances. That is what happens when there is not real communication.
Another mistake is to try to hard. You have to create a rapport but you must not send out a signal of desperation. This can be very unpleasant for the subject as nobody likes to have desperate people around the. When you are trying too hard, you are putting too much pressure on the other person and this feeling can bring down the communication. In the books you will find this mistake referred to as the “Law of Reversed Effect”.
This means that the more you try, the more likely you will not succeed. This is because the pressure is interfering with the unconscious process of the subject. Trying to force a relationship that does not exist and create it out of thin air is a mistake. You can avoid this mistake by using the “Instant rapport technique”.
Another great mistake is to want too much out of the subject. This type of mistake goes hand in hand with the first ones. We tend to become overwhelming and pushy when we want something badly. When the subject feels pushed, he becomes disinterested.
The “Fractionating rapport” technique can help you with this mistake. This technique means trying to build a rapport for a while and then leaving it alone for another period of time. After a while, the subject will come to you and try to create that rapport. This means that you brought him into the comfort zone. After that, day by day, you will be stretching the comfort zone little by little till the subject has no secrets towards you.
As you may have seen, all the mistakes have solutions and you need to know how to approach every situation. In this way you will become successful. If you tend to be too nice remember to step back a little and let the subject in his zone. If you are trying too hard, apply the “instant rapport technique” and let the unconscious send normal rapport signals. And finally, if you want it too much, stop what you are doing and use the fractionation technique. You will see that in no time you will be able to master your hypnosis skills and build great rapports with your subjects.
