The Worst Mistakes a Hypnotist Can Make When Building Rapports
September 16, 2009
Creating a rapport with someone is not an easy task to do and there are many things to be considered. Some mistakes also must be avoided, like being too nice, trying too hard or wishing for something a bit too much. These are considered some of the worst mistakes to be made and they can be remedied. You must first recognize the mistake and then think of a solution to get rid of it. When you are beginning to build a rapport with someone, one of the first mistakes you can do is to display a lack of interest. This can be easily spotted by noticing the body language.
If you are genuinely concerned and you display a genuine interest, you body responds to the other person’s gestures. The other person will feel your reaction on a subconscious level and will be more manageable. Even the pupil dilatation can be a sign and not just arm movements.
If you display boredom, people will pick up on that and they will respond without interest. They will shut down from you and you will not be able to connect with them. And a conversation where two people have lost interest in one another leads to a damaged rapport. But there are solutions to fix this problem.
“Tracking back” is one of them. This solution is a synonym in many ways with active listening. This means that you will reply back to the other person using his same words. This shows that you have been listening to what the other person was saying. Plus, it keeps your mind focused and you can easily remember what the other person said. This method is also used by applying what is known to be a track back frame. Whenever you are repeating what the other person was saying, you will begin with “So what you’re saying is…”
The difference between track back and active listening is that in the latter, you are repeating what you heard but using your own words. You can also change the tone of voice and the emotional meaning.
Language has a powerful neurological effect on many people. When you are changing the emotional meaning of one word or phrase you can also change the whole meaning. But the method can have a downfall. If you are using your own words and do not explain what the speaker was saying he might pick up on the fact that you didn’t pay much attention to his words.
Another solution comes from Carl Rogers, an early 1900s great psychologist that believed in the high regard for every other person. This means that no matter what you hear, no matter what the circumstances are, you must build a strong rapport and you should treat the person with 100% respect. Also you have to make the other person feel safe and comfortable around you.
Another mistake you can do is to play a wrong role. There are just three roles you can have when you are creating a rapport: high status, low status and the equal status. The status meaning has no reference to the annual income. You might think that it is easy but many people can not take different status in a conversation. This means you must learn to be flexible and understanding. You must adapt to each situation.
The last mistake you can do is to build a deep rapport and not a wide one. Deep rapport means an interaction on one subject or interest. You will get to know that area pretty well but you must not focus only on it. Talk about different experiences and environment and build a strong wide rapport with that person.
One way to do that is to meet with the person in different locations. This can be time consuming but it is enjoyable. You can also get in story telling and the person will open up. Now that you know the major mistakes you can do, you are able to avoid them or correct them. Always try to keep in your mind the fact that the rapport building skills gets better as time goes by and you manage all the skills.
